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Designating Greeters

If ministers have the fortitude to greet arriving and departing worshipers on Sunday, they will find themselves whipsawed between conflicting needs.

Longtime members want the pastor's attention and believe, quite justifiably, that they deserve it. Visitors, new members and those not yet incorporated into church life need the pastor's attention, too.

On a recent Sunday, I talked with a needy member at the front door and watched helplessly as a dozen newcomers left church without any connection. We didn't get their names or e-mail addresses, or say a word of welcome, or convey a desire to embrace.

If I had focused on the newcomers, of course, it would have been the member who left feeling ignored.

If ministers have the fortitude to greet arriving and departing worshipers on Sunday, they will find themselves whipsawed between conflicting needs.

Longtime members want the pastor’s attention and believe, quite justifiably, that they deserve it. Visitors, new members and those not yet incorporated into church life need the pastor’s attention, too.

On a recent Sunday, I talked with a needy member at the front door and watched helplessly as a dozen newcomers left church without any connection. We didn’t get their names or e-mail addresses, or say a word of welcome, or convey a desire to embrace.

If I had focused on the newcomers, of course, it would have been the member who left feeling ignored.

Is there a better way to handle Sunday greetings? Yes, there is.

First, it needs to be a team effort. In a staff of pastors, all of them need to be out front greeting. Members with a heart for greeting strangers and skill at listening should “work the crowd.” In an ideal world, all worshipers would avoid inward-facing circles and make room for strangers. But I think that is expecting too much, especially when church life is focused so much on Sunday. So, like a “designated driver” on Saturday night, a few members must set aside their socialization needs and greet strangers.

Second, the goal is to get names and e-mail addresses. First-Sunday visitors aren’t interested in deep conversation. But they do measure responsiveness. If the pastor doesn’t write or call, they look elsewhere. How can the whipsawed pastor write or call without basic data?

Third, follow-up must be one-on-one. Coffee on a weekday, lunch, an afternoon office visit, even a home visit — somehow, the pastor must sit face-to-face with visitor and start the life-transforming process of learning story, need, and yearning.

Finally, well-intentioned greeting must lead somewhere: a membership class where people can explore emerging needs, ministry groups that welcome them by name, mission groups that put them to work, and a community where people talk about new life, not better yesterdays.

 

Tom Ehrich is a writer, consultant, and leader of workshops. An Episcopal priest, he lives in New York City. The church wellness project can be found at www.churchwellness.com.

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