M. Craig Barnes
Brazos Press, 240 pages
Reviewed by Mary Austin
“Most of pastoral ministry is just doing small things as faithfully as possible,” muses the narrator of Craig Barnes’ new book, “Diary of a Pastor’s Soul.” The book takes us through the year leading up to the pastor’s retirement and ponders the bittersweet nature of leaving the work of a lifetime. It will be a balm for the soul for anyone who is near retirement and soon to leave a traditional mainline church.
Barnes uses the voice of a fictional pastor, never named, to ponder the pleasures and challenges of ministry and to look back on a lifetime of church work. The learning goes both ways, as the narrator tells us: “I eventually woke up to the discovery that I was constantly bumping into human souls. And, if I would let them, they would tell me the most amazing things about their lives. … With every one of these stories, my own story slowly changed over the years because I fell in love with these people.”
The book tells stories that will have a spark of recognition for many pastors. There are deftly drawn portraits of the people who show up in every church. We meet the oh-so-familiar church members like the chair of the property committee who refuses to let the building be used by anyone in case it gets damaged. The former power behind the scenes, who could make things happen with a few well-placed conversations, now slips into dementia. We see the family who is angry at God and takes their pain out on the pastor. Barnes also explores, through this pastor’s voice, the price the pastor’s family pays for the pastor’s vocation.
Woven into the stories are bits of wisdom that resonate deeply. Looking at a young minister, eager for bigger and better churches, this pastor at the end of his ministry recalls advice that didn’t make sense to him until he was many years into his ministry. A mentor once told him that nothing happens in a congregation until the pastor surrenders to the congregation — not to their bad habits or small vision, but to the reality of the people and to their hopes and dreams for themselves. “All the good things in the church came,” the narrator tells us, “after I surrendered my heart to it.” Good things rose up “out of the space created by a pastor and a congregation settling down with each other.” This process of mutual surrender feels right, and yet fewer and fewer churches will have the chance for deep work with a pastor. Strained church budgets and expensive buildings are increasingly forcing pastors toward part-time work with limited hours. This kind of settling in to shared ministry feels like a luxury from another time for many churches.
This book will feel like a conversation with a long-time friend for pastors who have been fortunate enough to work in the church full time, and for long-serving pastors. It will have less resonance for anyone who serves a church part-time while juggling other work, or for people who serve multicultural, Black or Asian churches. For anyone nearing retirement, reading this book will feel like walking with a friend, thinking about the work of ministry together.
Mary Austin is the pastor of Gaithersburg Presbyterian Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland.
