For boomer sons like me, our fathers were huge authority figures, almost bigger than life! Our dads were the fathers — we were the sons. Our dads did the talking — we were supposed to do the listening. We were expected to submit to their direction.
This authority was expressed in the way they addressed us. Dad seldom ever called me by my first name; it was almost always “Son.” It was said in love: there was never any question that Dad loved me and would do anything he could to help and support me. Dad’s love, however, was an authoritative love that clearly implied that Dad pretty much always knew what was best.
The popular TV show “Father Knows Best” only served to affirm dad’s authority, even though all of us knew differently. Our mothers knew best more often than dads. They were generally at home and were much more available.
Boomer sons, however, were expected (actually required) to show deference to their father’s correction, advice, direction, and wisdom (assuming that character trait was present). A boomer son did not have permission to challenge his dad, especially publicly.
I could not help but chuckle as I listened to a sportscaster interviewing professional golfer Kenny Perry during this year’s Masters Golf Tournament. Kenny was asked if his dad was in Augusta, Ga., to support him, and Kenny responded that his dad was in Kentucky taking care of his mom who is ill. Kenny was then asked if he stayed in close touch with his dad during the Masters.
Kenny responded with a laugh, “Oh, yes, my dad calls every night and gives me a complete critique of my round of golf which he has watched on television.” Kenny mimics his dad: “Now, Son, when you hit that shot on the (pick a number) hole, did you think about hitting a (pick a number) iron instead of the iron you hit?”
Kenny would never consider telling his dad that he has no idea what he is talking about; that his dad has no clue what it is like to play in the pressure-cooker of the pro tour! A good boomer son would never openly challenge his father’s authority.
Oh, Kenny probably said what many of us do when we receive such phone calls: “Good point, Dad! You are absolutely right! Why didn’t I think of that? I will remember that during my next round tomorrow. Thanks for all of your love and support.”
And his dad probably responds: “Good, Son, I am glad you see it my way! Good luck tomorrow. And just know that your mother and I love you and are rooting for you.”
And that is all we really need to hear, because boomer sons like us know how blessed we are to have dads (and moms) who care so much!
Dick Lindsey is pastor of Southminster Church in Richmond, Va.
