This week we asked the Outlook bloggers to share a “ministry hack” they’ve learned. Here’s what they shared.
Pop your collar. When I was working in a rural context people didn’t always believe that I am a pastor. Sometimes it was because I looked too young, but often it was because I am female. So, when I go on a visit to the intensive care unit I wear my collar. Visitors are limited in the ICU, and no one questions who I am, why I am there, my gender or my age when I wear the collar.
The name game. I make it a point to learn people’s given names because it is tough to find Scooter Smith unless you are in a small-town hospital. It helps if I know Scooter’s given name is William. I learn these names by praying my way through the church directory, which in my case has given names and nicknames. I also keep a directory in my car, my home, my bag and at the office. This way I can doublecheck names before I go in to the hospital or find an address for a home visit.
I’ll just watch you eat, and other awkward moments. I try to learn to meal times of all the hospitals and care facilities I visit regularly. Interrupting meals is awkward, but here’s the real reason: no one is taking patients for scans or physical therapy right after dinner. Most people are pretty alert at this time too. When I worked in a rural setting, I often drove 45 minutes to visit a long-term care facility. Over time, I figured out physical therapy times in addition to meal times. This helped me avoid interrupting or visiting an exhausted person. I learned this by driving the 45 minutes and then sitting in my car in the parking lot for another 40 minutes to wait for the person to finish an appointment.
Elevator talk. I worked for a time as an on-call chaplain. One of the hospital policies was that we were to make eye contact and greet every person we passed when we were on the hospital floor. I haven’t been a chaplain in over a year, but I still do this, which can get awkward when you aren’t wearing a badge. However, most people in the hospital aren’t having a great day. I am extremely introverted and this has led to some elevator conversations with strangers, something well outside my comfort zone. Those folks never know I am a pastor; I am just the nice person on the elevator letting them talk. I know we can’t possibly listen to everyone, but we can trust the ones we are supposed to hear end up on the same elevator with the Spirit’s guidance.
It’s all about those grapes. Know where you can get grape juice on the road! I once went out with a deacon to do several communion visits. Just before the last visit I realized I didn’t have enough grape juice and we ended up diluting it with a water fountain; it was, to say the least, noticeable. Another time I was on my way to a regional hospital an hour away when I realized I hadn’t brought any juice at all. That is the day I learned which gas stations carry small bottles of grape juice! Now I have not been in a context that uses wine but if I were, I might be sure I had a means of opening the bottle in the car. I also keep extra plastic communion cups and a pastoral Book of Common Worship in my car. (Apparently, I keep everything in my car.)
Bye, now. I had several folks in care facilities that were very lonely. When I would go visit them it would be hard to leave as they would just keep talking. Some people are good at saying,” I have to go.” I am terrible at this. I was strategic about setting up these visits around alarms on my phone — alarms for actual places I had to be, like the school’s carpool line. So, now when we are 30 minutes in and Mrs. Jones sweetly insists she can whip me up a batch of fresh cookies, I can easily bow out and say, “Bye, now – see you again soon.”
REBECCA GRESHAM-KESNER is pastor at Faith Presbyterian Church in Medford, New Jersey. Outside of church and family life, you can find her in nature, finding fun ways to be creative or asking awkwardly deep questions of people she just met.
