The newish pastors group in my presbytery is reading “How to Lead When You Don’t Know Where You Are Going” by Susan Beaumont. The inspiration behind exploring the theme of liminality in ministry originally came from the change to create a new presbytery from several existing presbyteries (in New Jersey where I serve).
In the book, the first chapter insists that with any change comes grief. I’ve been thinking about this coupling of grief and change. I have wondered, indeed, if this is always true. My mind wandered to Amanda Berry, Michelle Knight and Gina DeJesus, survivors of kidnapper Ariel Castro who snatched them from the streets in Cleveland, Ohio, imprisoning them in his house of horrors for about a decade before they escaped in 2013. Was there really grief associated with the change from going from prison and terror to freedom and (for some) reunification with family? Perhaps psychologists and sociologists would argue that there is a sense of loss of the old normal in order to embrace the new normal, but does there have to be an experience of grief when we lose something horrible to gain something better? Susan Beaumont is clearly writing in the context of ministry, so perhaps she is not asserting that tragedies fall into this category, but rather each change in ministry. Surely there is something good about even the ministries we will one day change or let go of? Something to ponder.
But our discussion truly deepened when we began to discuss the church’s response to periods of liminality. I will self-admit that I like change. I am someone who has moved across the country several times, and each time I have looked forward to what has awaited me on the other side. I often experience the presence of God in my life most clearly during these periods of liminality because I am forced to wait upon God. And thus, I have a positive association with these liminal periods, with the expectation that the change that follows on the other side will enhance my life and my ability to serve God. And yet, a colleague of mine raised a helpful question. Ross Lang, pastor of Hildale Park Presbyterian Church in Cedar Knolls, wondered aloud that perhaps some, and definitely the church at this time, might be approaching this liminal period with appropriate fear and trepidation, because they know the change awaiting them on the other side (decline of numbers, church closing, death) is negative, rather than positive. Should we approach change differently based on the perceived outcome? And is there an expectation for Christians to always approach change with a positive attitude or is the realistic approach more faithful?
I will readily admit that these are questions that I do not fully have the answers for — or perhaps, I can see many possible answers. It seems we so often seek a rebirth or reinvention of a church that is dying first — that is the preferred change. But, if that is not possible, we seem to move to this phase of celebrating the ministry that was and moving to accept what will no longer be. Ross brought up the example of end of life for any human: the time when our body starts to decline and we know we are approaching death rather than some type of a cure or rejuvenation. Of course, the theological answer is that we should approach this time with joy and anticipation, recognizing that we are on the brink of eternity with Christ. And yet, those of us who walk with family and friends through these liminal periods between life here and life there know that this liminal period can be at times long and trying, rather than short and joyful. So what are we to do with that?
Drawing on my pastoral experience, I might liken this delicate challenge to that of a memorial service. It is a time for sadness and mourning, and yet, pastors are called to preach the hope of the gospel. Our culture is one in which endurance is praised. “Never give up” is a popular catch phrase, and we love a good story where someone perseveres to the end even if they are broken, bruised and bloody. But how faithful is it really, in the life of the church, to die a slow painful death? Is it not more faithful to pray, plan, vision and accept?
I have a friend who has macular degeneration. Barring a miracle (and here’s another question: how do we faithfully still allow for that without being unrealistic?), he will go blind in the next 10 years. And so, it seems faithful to plan ahead, to prepare by moving into a home that will be easier to navigate without sight, to surround himself with family and friends (he moved to be closer to them) who can give him help when he needs it, to learn to knit now so he can do it without sight one day. But, it is almost ridiculous to suggest that he should look forward to this time in his life, isn’t it?
It is, of course, not ridiculous to think that God will use this time in some precious way but certainly insensitive to start making meaning prematurely and presumptuously out of a difficult change to come. This is an unwanted change in his life, a decline in bodily function, that he can certainly pursue with a positive attitude, but the change itself is a sure negative.
Besides holding up eternal life and restoration in the kingdom to come (which is no small thing), what is the most faithful response of Christians during these liminal periods (with negative change approaching) and on the other side of that change? And yes, this is a blog post that doesn’t wrap up tidily. So, I would love to hear your responses. How do you approach change as a community faith? What gifts in liminality are you finding write now?
JULIE RAFFETY serves as the pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Franklin, New Jersey. Julie is a violinist, aspiring writer, snowboarder, runner, identical twin and crazy about popcorn.
