For what am I most grateful?
For what am I least grateful?
The daily examen has become one of the core tenants of spiritual direction. Not just personally or in my immediate family, but for our wider community. In times like this – as we’re completely thrown off our regular systems, and don’t know when or if life will ever find balance again – direction can feel like a farce. How can I have a direction if I do not ever go anywhere? How do I find spiritual direction when my spirit is more tired, more taxed, more stressed than I can ever remember? I pray you are not in my same struggle where spiritual direction now often feels more like spiritual wandering than a spiritual adventure with an intent, itinerary and a direction.
Several years ago, my wife and I were gathering Advent resources to use as we developed some Advent tools for our churches. We wanted to help make Advent something more tactile, engaging and exciting, something the churches could really connect with in a new way. My wife served a very young, dynamic and child-filled church, so she did not want something that seemed rote. As she dreamed to develop a tool that would be something that families could use every day, my wife had a wonderful idea. Let’s use the examen, she said. It’s something of deep faith that connected with kids as well.
She found the book “Sleeping with Bread” by Dennis, Sheila and Matthew Linn. This is a wonderful book about using the examen that begins with a story that explains the title. It’s the story of children during World War II who were orphaned and left on the brink of starvation in Europe. After organizations worked to gather and care for the orphans, they found the children, though now safe and fed, were having a terrible time falling and staying asleep. A full belly and safety for a moment was no reassurance for these children that they would wake up to find an adult that was going to take care of them or have food for the next day. The workers devised a plan to give the children loaves of bread to take with them to bed. Now the children could sleep knowing that if they woke up in chaos and alone, they would have food for the day. The norm is terrible and stressful, but a small act was able to still their minds and ease their burden just a bit.
Using a daily examen was my bread during 2020. I in no way make light of the horrors of war or that the travesty of 1938 is akin to being cooped inside my home. But my spirit has been taught worry and anxiety in these last few months; most normal things just don’t make a lot of sense anymore. In seasons like this, direction can feel impossible or clouded. The examen offers a way to maintain course, even when we feel lost.
JD Herrera is vice president for enrollment management at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary in Texas.
