I don’t remember the first time someone told me that Catholics believe that priests have a special divine connection to God, but I do know that, to this day, I find it hard to believe. I recently came across “Six Ways Pastors Struggle: You Are Not Alone,” in Christianity Today. It notes that pastors struggle with many different aspects of life, and emphasizes struggles with identity. For some, the pastor represents God and this can be daunting.
Even as someone who is in the business of trying to help others connect to God, I find the PC(USA) can be a refreshing space to encounter God together. I recently preached a sermon on excepts from Habakkuk 1 and 2 that I called “Questioning God.” I shared a personal experience of a time when God seemed far away. During that stretch, I found myself alienating those closest to me, just so I would have someone “in the flesh” to blame. I had not planned on sharing this; but the Holy Spirit convicted me through a sermon of another Presbyterian pastor who had the courage to share who he was with my congregation. I should not have been surprised that my community of faith responded to my vulnerability. Some shared their struggles with me; others talked about what it means to know that pastors and spiritual leaders question God and search for answers just like everyone else.
The PC(USA) and Reformed theology agrees that pastors are nobody special. Our theological tradition subscribes to the “priesthood of all believers,” a sophisticated terminology that claims that we are all ministers tasked with carrying out the ministry of Christ in this world. And pastors are nobody special; they are another minister on the team.
I will confess that serving a church part time (only 20 hours a week) makes it difficult for me to even get to every member in the hospital, but sometimes I lament that we should be doing “ministry” visits rather than just hospital visits. We should visit and encourage people wherever they are carrying out ministry. Quite often this is in their place of work, but it could be at their book club, at bar down the street or around the dinner table. The congregation sees the pastor in action quite often, but pastors are nobody special. The community of faith is in action in many spaces and places that are often undercover or undisclosed.
If God were writing this blog, God would change the title though. To God, it is not that pastors are nobody special; it is instead, that we are all special. We all have these beautiful pieces of God that show up in us and in others often when we least expect them to. When we are our best selves, God makes an appearance. One of the true privileges of putting on the identity of pastor is getting additional glimpses into these moments. I used to love when we would go around the circle in youth group and share where we saw God. It was disturbingly powerful to recognize God in the everyday and mundane through the words of a middle schooler or high schooler. Perhaps the most special thing about being a pastor is nothing about me, but the permission that the title and the space create for others to recognize, claim and acknowledge God.
I can never claim to have a special connection to God outside of anyone else, but I think we might just experience God more when we are humbled, vulnerable, searching. I don’t believe that God destroys, but I do believe there are sacred moments and places in our lives where we are more open to hear from God and feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. I am grateful for those in my life who remind me that “I am human.” Crazy, isn’t it, how sharing in humanity is often what allows us to recognize God!? There is relief and opportunity in being nobody special.
JULIE RAFFETY serves as the pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Franklin, New Jersey. Julie is a violinist, aspiring writer, snowboarder, runner, identical twin and crazy about popcorn.
