Queer and trans youth are a gift to the church. That belief is the starting place for a robust ministry of LGBTQIA+ belonging, advocacy and celebration. The work doesn’t start with apologetics and deconstructing the “clobber passages” — though both are often necessary for bringing others along. Nor does the work start with pastorally addressing the multiple experiences of pain that visit the lives of queer and trans youth in a social and ecclesial context that is in constant debate over their lives.
If you’re looking for a foothold in your journey of accompanying LGBTQIA+ youth in your congregation, it is this: You start by seeing the gift of their queer and trans lives, lives of beauty and joy and creativity and relational wisdom and knowledge of the Divine.
LGBTQIA+ youth inevitably encounter some rough patches in their adolescent journey. And when they do, having trusted adults who affirm them in the fullness of their queer and trans selves can be a lifesaver. Having a whole congregation is incredible!
For example, while suicide rates among LGBTQIA+ youth are significantly higher than rates among their straight and cisgender peers – often arising from family rejection, peer bullying, religious/spiritual violence and political vitriol – the Trevor Project’s extensive research demonstrates that when a queer or trans youth has at least one accepting adult in their life, they are 40% less likely to report a suicide attempt. Whatever we can do to cultivate a place of deep belonging for LGBTQIA+ youth in our congregations and communities will produce greater well-being than we can possibly imagine.
If I had a wish list for churches in supporting LGBTQIA+ youth, it would include these items:
- That churches actively foreground their affirmation of and celebration of queer and trans lives. Because most religious expressions about LGBTQIA+ people are negative and condemnatory, messages of affirmation, belonging and justice need to be as loud and proud as possible for queer and trans youth to perceive and believe them.
- That churches would seek partners in their wider community that serve the needs of LGBTQIA+ youth and then join those efforts. We too often reinvent the wheel when we have so many places to add our energy and efforts: LGBTQIA+ youth drop-in centers, affirming shelters for homeless youth, a PFLAG chapter, a student organization, etc. Or, as one of my students did, go around the local Pride event, collect information from all the other tabling churches, and start an LGBTQIA+ ministry faith coalition wherever one doesn’t yet exist. This becomes a way to share resources and amplify one another’s efforts.
- That churches learn from LGBTQIA+ youth. Learn about faith, learn about God, learn about life as a queer and trans young person, learn about the congregation itself in the mirror they hold up to your assumptions, your taken-for-granted practices that may not be as inclusive as you’d hope, and your next steps toward living into your call as a faithful community of belonging and justice. Queer and trans youth are not just objects of care; they are agents of creative leadership in the movement of faith.
- That churches would help LGBTQIA+ youth learn about their queer and trans ancestors in the faith. These include the queer and trans people in their own church or denomination, as well as the wider queer cloud of witnesses who made a way for all of us who came after them: the Eucharistic Catholic Church, Troy Perry, Pauli Murray, Jim Mitulski, Yvette Flunder, and so very many more. Queer and trans youth can feel like they are the first to walk this path if we don’t help them connect their story to the larger narratives of LGBTQIA+ faith.
- That churches would ground care and concern for LGBTQIA+ lives in the richness of the theological tradition and scriptural witness. We don’t affirm and celebrate queer and trans youth out of some specific political agenda. We do so because they are beloved of God and made in the image of God, and because we are called to stand in solidarity with the most vulnerable in our midst — often including LGBTQIA+ youth in our communities.
Here is what I know to be true: there are more congregations that love queer and trans youth and do their best to support them in their lives than there are congregations that know how to make that love operational in the practice of ministry. Start where you are, with what you have to work with and whomever you have to partner with, and build your capacity from there. So many lives will benefit from your efforts.
