Among the “tapes” we learn in childhood and need to unlearn as adults is a belief that God expects perfection and that the goal of religious life is to attain perfection.
In teaching the classic spiritual disciplines — prayer, worship, confession — we need to convey another message, namely, that God wants transformation of life, not a finished state called perfection. Faith is a journey, not an arrival and then a stopping.
In teaching prayer, for example, we teach people how to talk with God, how to open themselves to the holy, and how to sit in silence before God. The aim of prayer is an awareness of God’s presence, not perfect wording, posture, or attitude.
Similarly, in teaching the discipline of fasting, an often overlooked but, in my opinion, essential spiritual discipline, the goal isn’t an approved protocol for giving up food, but an emptying of self so that God can fill. By avoiding any suggestion of perfection, the one fasting won’t be surprised when the consequences of fasting are emotional vulnerability and a certain confusion.
Perhaps the hardest place to let go of perfection is worship. Church leaders tend to work hard at the “performance” side of worship, with practices for key participants, evaluations, and careful planning. Such efforts can be a sign of taking worship seriously, but they shouldn’t be allowed to promote a perfectionism that leaves no room for the accidental or personal, like a burst of laughter, an onset of weeping, or a child’s playfulness. Perfectionist worship tends to become stiff and stilted.
Transformation, by contrast, is inherently chaotic and messy. It follows no single path. As a preacher I know said recently, it usually involves two steps forward and one step back. Look at how wild the ride was for Jesus’ disciples.
By focusing on transformation, the church’s spiritual guidance becomes liberating and encouraging, not confining and hyper-parental.
To learn more about Spiritual Development and how to envision teaching the classic spiritual disciplines, you are invited to visit www.churchwellness.com
Tom Ehrich is a writer, consultant, and leader of workshops. An Episcopal priest, he lives in Durham, N.C. The church wellness project may be found at www.churchwellness.com
