The experience of adoption is sufficient to draw the Yazdans and Donaldsons into a friendship that deepens over time. Despite differences of culture, personality, and experience, the two families’ lives weave together. The experience of adoption forges a commonality more unifying than their differences. The author explores the issues of nationality, of kinship, of shared experience, and of love. In an era in which the fear of terrorism has created suspicion towards Middle Eastern people, this book reminds us of our shared humanity — the common desires and dreams of all people. The book is a tale of longing: longing for children, for family, for community, for home, for country, and for belonging.
Maryam Yazdan describes her attitude about being foreign to Dave Dickenson (Bitsy’s father). “You can start to believe that your life is defined by your foreignness. You think everything would be different if only you belonged. ‘If only I were back home,’ you say, and you forget that you wouldn’t belong there either, after all these years. It wouldn’t be home at all anymore.” Dave’s response to her is a word for all of us. “Maryam … You belong. … You belong just as much as I do, or who, or Bitsy. … We all think the others belong more” (p. 181).
While Tyler is affectionate in her treatment of her characters, she is never sentimental. She is as authentic in her depiction of the tensions and irritations in this friendship as she is in her depiction of the love and respect that is shared. She has the ability to draw her characters as real, flesh-and-blood people. The Yazdans and Donaldsons are both exasperating and touching. They engage us because they struggle with the same challenges we face. They have been hurt and saddened by life, as we have. In turns, they are bossy, cranky, inconsiderate, and aloof. Yet through all the phases and challenges of the relationship between the two families, there is the bond of raising children together, sharing parenting concerns and family woes, and supporting one another through illness and death.
Like an accomplished painter, Tyler draws loving, engaging portraits of her characters: Maryam, Sami, and Ziba Yazdan, Bitsy and Brad Donaldson, Bitsy’s parents, Dave and Connie Dickenson, and the adopted daughters, Jin-Ho and Susan. Tyler’s genius lies in her ability to evoke universal human experience from her deft descriptions of the ordinary, daily lives of her characters. In previous books, she has done this primarily from one person’s point of view. In this book, she achieves an even greater richness and complexity because she weaves her story from each of the main characters’ point of view.
Tyler invites the reader to wrestle with what it means to belong — in family, in friendship, in community. She explores ties of blood and duty and also ties of affection and choice. Her characters struggle with the difficulties of life in a less-than-perfect world, with less-than-perfect companions. Against this backdrop, Tyler shows the healing power of relationship. Those readers who appreciate an author who can capture the experience of grace in the midst of everyday moments will find this a moving book.
In Digging to America, ordinary people in ordinary lives transcend themselves to love and connect with others. The diversity of human experience is juxtaposed with the commonality of the hunger to belong, to be in community with each other. It is in relationships, Tyler shows us, that we become whole and are our own true selves. As Dave says to Maryam, “‘Come in … Come in, Maryam. Come inside.’ … And then it seemed that the words began to mean something more, and he said, ‘Come in, Maryam. Come inside'” (p. 182).
Bunny Alexander is a PC(USA) minister and pastoral counselor living in Indianapolis, Ind.
