The first realization is presbyteries are, generally, ill equipped to provide nurture and support to pastors. Committees on Ministry (COM) might check in with pastors from time to time, but unless there is a crisis at hand, COMs typically have too much other stuff on their plates. Executive/General Presbyters may attempt to be a “pastor” to pastors, but my experience is that there is a disconnect between those in executive/administrative service and those serving in the outposts of God’s new frontier. Certainly, some presbyteries have adopted staffing models that focus on the care and nurture of pastors, and I know that all presbyters want to provide that care, but often our own neediness precludes our being able to offer the care pastors need.
Secondly, congregations can, and most often do, show friendship, concern, and care for pastors. However, by virtue of the fact that the pastor is understood by the congregation to be the shepherd to the flock, the congregation can’t quite get to a place where it can become a shepherd to its pastor.
The image that comes to my mind is that of a shepherd I once saw on a working ranch in Montana. He sat, alone, on the crest of a hill all day, watching the flock entrusted to his care. He was vigilant; he was, in a way, connected to the flock, the flock knew he was there, but he was very much alone. I am persuaded that loneliness, isolation, is the greatest burden pastors carry.
This is particularly true, I have learned, in the case of pastors who serve rural churches or parishes and that may be hours away from ministry colleagues, or anyone who really understands what their life is like. I know of rural pastors who drive three hours just to have a cup of coffee with a colleague. Spouses can’t really address this isolation; in too many instances the spouse is also experiencing loneliness. Hobbies provide brief respite and refreshment, but not for the long haul. Retreats and continuing education events often break the isolation, for a little while. What is missing in each of these interruptions in a pastor’s loneliness is an ongoing rhythm whereby the pastor enters into a relationship that breaks into his or her loneliness and offers refreshment and new life.
Judith A. Schwanz, professor of pastoral care and counseling at Nazarene Theological Seminary in Kansas City, Mo., has written a book that offers an insightful perspective to the issue of pastoral isolation and loneliness. Blessed Connections: Relationships that Sustain Vital Ministry (Alban Institute, No. AL346, 2008) spotlights three areas of connection — relationship with self, relationships with other people, and relationship with God — that are vital to a pastor’s spiritual and physical health. It is the third of these areas of connection, relationship with God, I am convinced offers pastors the fullest possibilities for ongoing nurture.
To be in an ongoing relationship with God requires more than regular devotional and Bible reading. It requires more than daily prayer. I believe an intimate, life-giving relationship with God requires faithful observance of Sabbath. Marva Dawn, writing in Keeping the Sabbath Wholly: Ceasing, Resting, Embracing, Feasting (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1989, pg. 34), said, “When we order our lives around the focus of our relationship with God by letting our Sabbath day be the highlight of our week, toward which everything moves and from which everything comes, then the security of God’s presence on that day will pervade the week.” Schwanz, building on Dawn’s insights, makes the compelling argument that Sabbath, the regular, complete removal of oneself from the routine of one’s week so that one may enter into intimate communion with God, to focus full attention on God in awe and reverence, is essential for a pastor’s life and health.
My own experience of the need for Sabbath stems from an ongoing challenge I face, unhealthy eating habits. When I am lonely, depressed, sad, I eat. Years ago I came across a book titled Love Hunger: Recovery from Food Addiction (Ballantine Books, 1991). This book taught me that my food addiction stemmed from an emptiness in my soul, not my stomach, that I tried to fill with food. What I came to understand was that the only Person who could fill the emptiness, the loneliness, in my soul was God. And the only way I could be fed by my relationship with God was by embracing Sabbath.
Now, wanting to be fed by my relationship with God is one thing; actually taking the time to let God feed me is something else. It is much easier to eat a box of Little Debbie’s Swedish Cake Rolls (in the handy single-serving size), or a family-size bag of Lays Classic Potato Chips and get back to what “needs to be done” than it is to wait for God to fix my spiritual dinner.
Here, my friends, is where congregations who love their pastors can become a partner in the pastor’s Sabbath-keeping. The first thing a congregation can do is to write into its covenant with the pastor that the pastor is required to observe Sabbath. Most pastors need more than permission to take care of themselves; they need to be “ordered” to do it. The Personnel Committee of the church, or the Session, must then hold the pastor accountable for keeping Sabbath. Additionally, Sabbath must be understood by the congregation as not being a “day off.” Days off are generally the day when stuff is done at home that hasn’t been done because of church responsibilities. Sabbath may not even be an entire day. It may be a few hours, an afternoon; although it may be the gift of an entire day.
The second part of this covenantal agreement with the pastor is that the congregation details what it is going to do, in the pastor’s stead, to free the pastor from worrying about what is not being done while he or she is participating in a Sabbath. Answer the phone, make the hospital or home visits, take care of the plumbing problem — when the pastor knows that these responsibilities are being taken care of, then it is easier for the pastor to let go of the jillion things bouncing around in his or her mind.
The third thing, and perhaps the most important thing, that congregations can do in support of a pastor observing Sabbath is to pray. Recruit prayer partners who will surround the pastor in prayer during the time of Sabbath. One of the most powerful experiences of Sabbath I ever had was while participating in a Cursillo. I knew that every hour I was engaged in Cursillo someone was praying for me. Those prayers freed me to be filled by God in a way that no amount of chocolate or carbohydrates could fill me. The prayers of the faithful will help free the pastor to receive the Holy Spirit who comes in the time of Sabbath.
Pastors who regularly observe Sabbath will become addicted to it. Rather than be addicted to food, booze, whatever, the pastor’s addiction to God will be life-enhancing not only for this servant of God, but for the congregation witnessing what it truly means to live a life of intimacy with God.
We all know saints who so exude the presence of God in their lives that we hunger for that same experience of our Lord. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the one who sparks that hunger in us, and models for us how to have that hunger satisfied, is the person whom God has called to be our shepherd?
Charles Traylor has been serving in North Dakota as executive for the Presbytery of the Northern Plains for more than four years. On Nov. 1 he will begin service as pastor of the Fairfield Glade Community Church in Fairfield Glade, Tenn.
