But I doubt that any listening compares with a patient and loving pastor asking people what’s on their minds.
After worship on Sunday, during the weekly round of pastoral calls — your clergy do make their calls, don’t they? — over meals, in grocery store aisles, and at baseball games, in the myriad ways clergy and laity interact, listening is number one.
That is especially true in this recession, as more people than we might realize are grappling with lost jobs, endangered jobs, downscaled jobs, financial pressure, unpaid bills and mortgages, and feelings of shame and isolation.
People don’t typically bring up these subjects when at church. But these are the fears and forebodings on people’s minds, and they need to be heard in the faith community.
It is time for clergy to get out of their offices and out into the streets, as it were. It is time to ratchet up the time spent just talking to people. It is time to give people an outlet for what worries them.
Clergy can lead the way in this, but they can’t do it alone. Elected lay leaders need to set aside their budget reports and spend time with nervous constituents. Non-elected leaders — both “pillars” and newcomers who have the charism of leadership — need to form listening circles, Sunday lunches at their homes, for example, as well as chance meetings.
While respecting the customary boundaries of pastoral confidentiality, I recommend that listeners share what they hear. The themes that emerge: Will I have a job in six months? Can my child go to college? should shape the congregation’s preaching and teaching agendas.
Tom Ehrich is a writer, church consultant, and Episcopal priest based in New York. He is the publisher of On a Journey, and the founder of the Church Wellness Project www.churchwellness.com.
