ARE THERE SPECIFIC NEIGHBORHOOD BABIES, or perhaps your own grandchildren, whom you wish had more connection to church? That the parents of these precious little ones would have more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control?
In the past few months, my husband and I have watched such a miracle unfold in the lives of new parents we met in birth preparation class a year ago. Originally thrown together only because of close due dates, we have been surprised by the outreach opportunities found in our group and by seeing the Kingdom of God spring forth in our midst. Surely loving parents and well cared for babies are signs of God’s power through the Holy Spirit’s work in our world!
Our new friends are on the other side of cultural gaps that separate them from church life, yet God’s grace is so evident in their lives. It began with invitations to get together for baby welcoming parties and newborn playdates. In saying yes to spending time together, there were natural moments when the simple tools my husband and I use to nurture our marriage were mentioned. Such tiny seeds, sown over time, have blossomed into a parenting and marriage care book group with an extended brunch gathering for mutual learning and the joy of watching our growing babies play together.
The books we are reading from the Gottman Institute and the Center for Nonviolent Communication are primarily the initiative of other parents reaching out for our input. These materials are not overtly Christian, having been developed by psychologists for a general audience. Yet my husband and I stumbled upon them five years ago in preparing for marriage, because we were desperate to learn how to live out Christ’s call to love one another.
This discipleship formation of deceptively simple relational skill building has given us a growing base of loving one another that surfaced even in the exhaustion of new parenthood. One powerful example, from Gottman’s research, is how important it is to raise difficult topics gently. Remembering this is not automatically easy when tired and snappy, but we, and now our book group friends too, are amazed how much deeper such conversations can become when we avoid getting tangled up in upset feelings and defensiveness.
I am not suggesting a “plug and play” formula for easy success if God’s Spirit has not already been at work preparing hearts. Yet with all the stresses of transitioning into new parenthood, such resources are bridges of support for those seeking a more peaceful and loving home for their baby. I don’t expect our unchurched-seeking-to-love-one-another-better friends to be regularly joining us for worship soon. But, in their eagerness to share with others about better loving one another, they have already volunteered to babysit our son if we ever want to teach a class series at church. We are so thankful for the blessing of their friendship, including their partnership in mission to other new parents and their babies.
KAREN SLOAN lives in Pittsburgh and surprises others with her rabid enthusiasm for reading “I Love You Stinky Face,” by Lisa McCourt, to just about anyone, including groups of new parents or congregations in need of a last minute sermon. Contact her at: flirtingwithmonasticism@gmail.com.
