I had the privilege of hearing Gareth Higgins give a talk about his book How Not to Be Afraid. Higgins joked that his book’s title was similar to the phrase “don’t wear those clothes.” It’s not that you shouldn’t wear any clothes! Rather, the point is to select the appropriate attire.
We can’t help being afraid; fear happens naturally to all of us. The “fight or flight” response can save our lives. Yet, there is also a third response — to freeze, to become immobilized to act or incapacitated to think. This book helps readers to manage their fears, and even channel them into action.
Higgins grew up amid the violence between Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland known as “the Troubles.” As a child, Higgins had every reason to be afraid for his life and the lives of his loved ones. But that was not the only reality of his childhood; he also knew laughter, friendship and love.
Higgins asks readers to recognize that what we think of as “reality” is actually a story about our experience. This is not an argument for moral relativism, but it points out that our culture tells “dominant, diminishing stories” — like the world is going to hell in a handbasket. We are inundated with headline news of catastrophe and suffering. We should not deny facts, even if they make us afraid, but “the real news about your world does not begin with the flashing red stripe across the bottom of the screen. … it begins in your mind with the story you’re telling about yourself.”
Throughout the book, Higgins offers contemplative exercises to help readers experience our “true self” as the part of us “that knows there is something real beyond what we have been trained to see with our eyes, something indescribably good.” Recognition of our true self as holy and beloved can help us reframe stories of scarcity, judgment and struggle into stories of abundance, assurance and grace. Referencing Seamus Heaney’s poem “The Skylight” in which the poet came to appreciate the new perspective, Higgins claims, “Better stories can let the light in.”
Higgins believes that the antidote to fear is “action rooted in hope.” In addition to listening to the light-giving story of our true self, he asks us to find life-giving community. Even in the Troubles of North Ireland, Higgins also found “quiet, immense strength manifesting among people willing to forgo divisive ideology in favor of the common good. … creating communities of beautiful, life-giving ambiguity rather than the superficial gratification of being ‘right.’” We can find such communities amid the divisive, death-dealing ideologies of our time and place as well.
I think most readers would agree that finding one’s inner light and sacred place in community would be an antidote to the isolating effects of fear. The beauty of How Not to Be Afraid is that Higgins is a master storyteller. He is a noted film critic and often mines movies for their spiritual depth. He also narrates anecdotes from his life and others to create empathy and then invites insight in the reader’s own life. As such, his book is less of a “how to” and more of a spiritual inspiration.
Higgins recognizes in himself the feelings of overwhelming anxiety, exhaustion, and dread for the future, yet “better stories about fear can transform these burdens into fuel for a more beautiful life, for a more peaceful world, helping us to find calm amid the storm.” If that sounds like a faith statement, you are reading it correctly. Higgins ends this book with a series of blessings like his mentor and friend, the late John O’Donohue, that I will return to, over and over again, as I seek the better stories to let the light in:
May you find the Anam Cara within.
Soul friendship with yourself,
that opens unto others,
makes a home for them,
and transfigures your inner life.
May you be the friend to yourself that we are all waiting for.
