This essay is the second in a series exploring mental health and faith.
I often look at everything wrong with the world and wonder why people aren’t solving it. The solution to many issues, both longstanding and modern, usually seems straightforward to me:
Love thy neighbor as thyself.
How do we end bigotry? We love our neighbors, regardless of who they are. How do we fix stagnating wages? We remind corporate boardrooms that they should care for their neighbors in the same way they care for themselves.
The key to breaking down hate, bigotry and many problems is love. For Christians, the Bible makes that very clear. Love triumphs hate, grace triumphs anger, and generosity triumphs greed. Jesus suffered execution to provide grace, Paul found redemption, and Joseph forgave and provided food to his brothers who had none. Yet it feels impossible to apply these teachings in our heavily politicized world. Not everyone wants to love their neighbor. And when we remind them of the words of Jesus – or Mr. Rogers – they ignore our voices.
The key to breaking down hate, bigotry and many problems is love.
Sometimes I feel like I am one voice screaming into a void — screaming for others to see what I believe to be obvious. People of all political backgrounds see violence as expected, and even the church, which still preaches that love triumphs all, struggles to share that message beyond the shrinking numbers in their pews.
Jesus, I remind myself, must have felt the same way, as did the prophets before him. I want to spread the messages of love, but – like a modern-day Jonah – I don’t want to interact with the people who are unwilling to hear my voice. When I see people that I know are religious post online about how immigrants are “ruining the country,” I back down instead of calling them out. If they have enough hatred in their heart to make it public, I feel that there is nothing I can say to change their mind. It’s easier to block someone on Facebook or Instagram than to engage them in conversation. I want to end bigotry, but I don’t want to walk into a room full of people I disagree with and explain to them why they’re wrong — especially if they use religion as a shield, citing single Bible verses, often out of context, to condemn the LGBTQ+ movement, women seeking abortion access, or religious minorities.
When I feel like one voice screaming, it takes a toll on my mental health. I wonder if there is any truth to the American legend of “justice for all” that I recited during the Pledge of Allegiance every morning as a kid. Sometimes I think about moving out of the United States when I’m older. I don’t want to, but when my voice feels lost in a sea of people calling hatred over love, I think I may be getting too worn out from all the drama.
So — what can I change? What can we change?
While I can feel alone in my calls for love and respect, I know that’s not true. Those of us who want to change the world have each other. When I go on long-winded rants about how simple it would be to solve the world’s problems, the person on the other side of this rant is most usually my mother. She’s a pastor at a Presbyterian church, and agrees that the world would be a much better place if we all actually listened to what Jesus had to say. Jesus walked throughout the land to spread love and hope. We should strive to do the same.
Both fortunately and unfortunately for me, my mother isn’t someone that I think needs to be more open-minded and open-hearted. She agrees with me on just about everything, and even though I can rant to her for hours on end, talking to her won’t change anyone’s mind. We can’t put an end to bigotry unless we acknowledge and direct our message toward people who have hearts filled with hate and ignorance.
If we believe that people cannot change, we are selling our own futures short.
Will conversation make a change? I have to believe so. If we believe that people cannot change, we are selling our own futures short. Just as Jonah (eventually) found his way to Nineveh to deliver his sermon, we must find the strength to tell even the most vile and bigoted people that if they truly want to follow the Bible, they must love their neighbor. Of course, the golden rule transcends religion. Care and kindness should be universally shared and experienced by everyone.
However, I’ve learned that people will not change when we come at them swinging. If we truly are to follow in the footsteps of Christ, we must extend grace to everyone, even the people we disagree with wholeheartedly. As a queer man, I often have to bite my tongue from saying some terrible things against anti-LGBTQ+ groups. I’m not always successful in holding back my anger. There are a few comments I’ve left online where I have said things that certainly were not going to convince anyone that I was reasonable.
But by reaching out with kindness and grace, we can prove to ourselves and to our world that love still prevails. Even if we disagree with our neighbors, we must love our neighbors as ourselves. I remind myself of this when I speak to my friends who own and cherish guns — a viewpoint I don’t support. Despite our disagreement, I know that there is nothing to gain by abandoning my friends and refusing to care for them just because we view gun ownership differently. Only by showing kindness to those we don’t see eye to eye with, can we teach them to love us as well.
