At first, the pandemic seemed as if it was bringing out the best in humanity. Healthcare workers were cheered during shift changes. John Krasinski’s “Some Good News” told us inspiring stories of people making the most of staying at home and staying safe. Homes all over Kentucky, where I live, lit up green as a sign of compassion for those who had lost their lives to COVID-19. Grocery store and other essential workers were provided pandemic pay in acknowledgement of the sacrifices they made to keep us healthy and fed. People listened to science and public health officials and heeded their advice.
Of course, this is a rosy recollection of the spring. The reality was not so sweet. Even in the midst of stay-at-home orders, Black people were killed by police and their neighbors as they went about the business of living. Unemployment skyrocketed as businesses closed. Many of the most vulnerable among us lost their income but not their financial obligations. Others suffered consequences from avoiding hospitals and healthcare for fear of contracting the coronavirus, or simply because healthcare access was limited. Domestic violence cases surged as survivors and abusers sheltered in place together.
Even on its best days, America falls far short of the peaceable kin-dom of God.
So I recognize that it speaks (loudly and uncomfortably) to my privilege that it’s only now, in the last few months, that I have seriously begun to question the very nature of God, not to mention who God made us to be.
You see, I believe God created us humans for relationship. Just as God’s own self exemplifies relationship within the Trinity, so has God created us for one another. We are not meant to do life alone. Of course, this was never going to be easy (I can only imagine this is why some iteration of “love your neighbor” is found so often in Scripture) — but at the end of the day, this is who we are created to be. Relational. Loving. Able to think of others before self.
Or is it?
When I watch footage of armed protestors surrounding residences of governors to protest “oppressive” mandates to wear a mask and stay home, I wonder about the exceedingly selfish ways of humankind. Ways that center “me” and discard “you.” And not just selfish, but violent. On at least one occasion, male protestors hung a governor in effigy – my governor, Andy Beshear of Kentucky, on the very property where he lives with his wife and two young kids. On another, a group of men plotted to kidnap and kill Gov. Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan. Of course, white men (though not only men) in this country have a history of inflicting violence on those they perceive as a threat to their ways of being. So again, I must ask myself: Is this who God created us to be? And why am I just deeply wrestling with this now?
If God created us to be in relationship, why do people so resist the simple act of wearing a mask — an act perceived as impinging upon “personal freedom” at the expense of neighbor? If we are called to love neighbor as self, why do we insist on eating inside restaurants and going out to bars and attending mass events (and holding said events)? Why are we so insistent on putting our own needs and desires above all else?
And don’t even get me started on church. I won’t name those who these situations have happened to at the risk of making fraught situations worse. But why must we insist that the church caters to our individual needs and host in-person events because we want them? Why must we pressure our pastors to “open the church” (as if it was ever closed) and hold in-person worship, as if said pastor couldn’t possibly have the flock’s best interest at heart without that pressure? As if the pastor doesn’t constantly agonize over the right decisions to keep the people safe? Why, oh why, do we worship the idols of “I want…” and “normal”?
I thought we humans were created for one another. I thought our very nature as those made in God’s own image was to love and care for one another. I thought that when things got hard, this basic part of us would prevail. That we would put our own opinions and desires aside to care for the vulnerable, to get through a life-changing crisis side by side. That good would triumph over evil. But most of what I experience, hear and witness says otherwise. Almost a year into this pandemic, we humans are revealing that what we care most about is not one another, or even our creator God. It’s ourselves.
I expectantly await the One who came to free us from sin, praying that Christ might come again in glory – this time to save us from ourselves.
LINDA KURTZ is associate pastor for Christian formation at First Presbyterian Church in Lexington, Kentucky. She is newly married to Daniel, a Methodist pastor. Linda enjoys being outside, reading for fun, and taking photos of anything but people.
