Many congregations, pastors, and families struggle with decisions about children in worship. The questions, and sometimes the arguments, are fairly predictable:
Aren’t they too young to get anything out of worship?
I’m on duty all day everyday. I want this time for me.
We have to make it easy for young parents or they won’t come to church at all.
Our pastor isn’t very good with kids.
Nurturing the worship life of children is more than a chore; it is a holy responsibility and a joy!
All three synoptic gospel writers tell the story of Jesus blessing the children. This blessing comes immediately after Jesus confronts his adult disciples for trying to prevent the children from being with him. Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them, Luke 18:16 (NRSV). Other versions say, Do not hinder them.
Many of our churches are doing just that. We hinder our children from being with Jesus in worship.
Some churches explicitly exclude children from the central act of worship. Sunday morning schedules put the church school and worship in competition. Children’s choir rehearsals, youth group activities, and confirmation classes lead children away from the sanctuary during the worship service. In these churches the message is clear: We don’t really want or expect children to gather with us to worship God.
Other churches exclude children from active participation in worship in more subtle ways. Adults shoot dirty looks at wiggly children in their pews. Ushers instruct parents on where to find childcare the minute they enter the narthex. Worship leaders preach and pray about the needs of the world without realizing that they have overlooked the very real needs of the children in their midst.
Adopting the Christian practices of inclusiveness and hospitality toward children in worship will help us to better reflect the Lord we love. It takes the whole church family to make nurturing the worship life of children more than a chore. Pastors, parents, older adults, directors of Christian education, worship and Christian education committees must work together. Wonderful resources are available to help prepare children, parents, and the entire worshipping community for the inclusion of children in worship. If we create an inclusive worshipping community, the children of our congregations will not only worship with us, but will also be prepared to offer their gifts and serve as leaders in worship.
God longs to receive the praise and prayers of our little ones. Children can and do worship God. The Holy Spirit is at work in our children, drawing them close to the heart of God. Occasionally we see the evidence of the Spirit’s work.
The little girl who took two pieces of communion bread from the passing plate (because they were small and she was very hungry) is the same child who requested prayers for the pets separated from their owners after the hurricane.
The young boy drawing his favorite cartoon characters in the margin of his bulletin is the same child who sings “Immortal, invisible, God only wise” from the bathtub.
The pre-schooler who has to leave the sanctuary each Sunday for a trip to the drinking fountain, is the same child who chimes in as the prayer begins “Our Father, who art in heaven …”
Worshipping with children is indeed a joy!
Resources for nurturing the worship life of children:
Gateways to Worship by Carolyn Brown
Get Ready! Get Set! Worship! By Sue Lou, Jean Floyd Love, Mickey Meyers, Sylvia Washer
Children in the Worshiping Community by David Ng and Virginia Thomas
Belonging to God: Catechism Resources for Worship by a PC(USA) Task Force of Theology and Worship
Forbid Them Not by Carolyn Brown
Including Children in Worship: A Planning Guide for Congregations by Elizabeth Sandell
A Children’s Guide to Worship by Ruth Boling, Lauren Muzzy, Laurie Vance
Concrete Ways to Include Children in Worship:
· Serve: as greeters, ushers, acolytes, choir members
· Lead liturgy: call to worship, passing the peace, advent wreath lighting
· Baptism: sit by the font, pour water from a pitcher into the font, affirm promises written especially for children, present welcome cards or other gifts to the baptized
· Communion: bake the bread, cut up bread and pour juice in preparation for communion, collect communion cups after worship, read the children’s part in a communion liturgy
· Children’s Worship Bulletins: create or purchase bulletins that help children explore the theme of worship that day
· Worship Bags: make or purchase bags could include paper, colored pencils, bookmarks, Bible storybooks; some churches include a small package of graham crackers and a water bottle
· Hymn Selection: hymns with refrains are easier for children to learn. Select a hymn of the month so that children become familiar with a set of hymns
· Time with children or children’s sermons: explain a different part of the worship service each week.
Nancy Mikoski is the Consultant in Christian Education at Nassau Church in Princeton, N.J. She has served pastorates in Michigan and Georgia.
