That’s the one

That’s the one.

That’s the god that makes sense to me…

not that that matters.

 

That’s the one,

the one that visited me in silence.

The one that showed kindness

when I needed it most.

 

The one that showed me what truth looks like…

and then surprised me when my own

showed up in ways

I never knew before.

 

That’s the one …

the god who helps people do the right thing

when others seem to not hear its voice.

 

That’s the god

who even makes me question its existence

in order to send me deeper into that holy space

that so many long for

and fail to hush long enough to hear.

 

That’s the god …

 

Not the one who inspires me to try and

convince others to think the way I do.

Not the one who justifies killing

in order to save lives.

Not the one that uses pulpits

to preach hate and discrimination.

Not the one that always has the answers

and doesn’t look for faith

in ways they never tried before.

 

Not the god that brings about suffering

to teach me a lesson,

or pay me for my sins,

or even worse,

the one

who knows what’s best for me.

Not that one.

 

No … the other one.

The one that is there to help me through it.

And the one … who is the best for me.

 

Trying to not be judgmental,

recognizing the need for discernment,

and praying I will always

know the difference.

 

That’s the God … That one.

(c) Barbara Wood Gray
Taking no joy in these words
March 2023
“Sharing the Song”
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