Let’s be honest: If you worship in a rural church – or, heck, just a Presbyterian church – the odds are pretty high that you have practically no youth. When I travel to rural churches for my work as director of the Town Square Collaborative, the youngest people in worship are often close to my age (51). There may be a couple of grandchildren visiting or a pair of children coaxed down for the children’s sermon, but in all likelihood, there are no youth and no youth ministry.
Of course, there are exceptions. But for many rural and small congregations, this is the norm.
When I read that the Outlook was focusing on youth ministry, I wondered what I might contribute to the many churches for whom youth ministry is a distant memory. My guidance is simple and has two parts: First, you do have youth. They are the young people of your community. Second, you have a holy opportunity to ask questions that will help you understand their lives.
You already have youth
Churches often identify “their” youth as those who participate in worship or programming. This is not a bad definition, per se, but I suggest broadening it. Dramatically.
The young people of your community have stories to tell that can profoundly shape your congregation’s understanding of its role in Jesus’ work in your community. Rather than waiting for young people to enter your space, look for opportunities to appropriately enter theirs.
This is not easy. But if your congregation wants to hear the wisdom of the young people around you, it may be the only way. Creativity and collaboration are key.
One church I know put up a basketball hoop in its parking lot for neighborhood kids. Another engages in tutoring at a local school. A third provides dinner for the high school football team on Friday nights. These are wonderful ways to build relational bridges, and there are countless others if you pay attention to your community.
Start with prayer
Before going further, I understand that you may be tired. This might feel like one more thing to do, or it may simply seem too daunting.
Sherron George, my mission professor at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary, taught that the first act of mission is prayer. At the very least, every church can intentionally and thoughtfully pray for the young people in its community. A school counselor, teacher or other community leader can help you understand the concerns young people are facing and what might belong in those prayers.
Prayer can also prepare us to pay attention: Who are the young people around us? Where do they gather? What are they experiencing? What might they have to teach us?
Ask questions — and listen
If your congregation has the energy and ability to put itself out there, the next step is to build relationships and ask good questions.
Curiosity is a wonderful thing in the life of faith. Once relationships have formed and some level of trust has been established, ask young people about their lives. But those questions should not be rooted in figuring out how to get them into Sunday morning worship or how to better evangelize their peers. They should be anchored in a genuine desire to understand.
What issues do they face? What are their hopes and dreams? What do they wish for their town? What do they need from the adults and institutions around them?
Thoughtful listening can open all sorts of doors. Most importantly, it can help your congregation discern how it might serve and minister alongside a new generation.
Let grief become a catalyst
I know it hurts not having youth in your pews on Sunday. I know the frustration of wanting more young people in worship or watching your own children choose something other than church on Sunday mornings. There are real things to grieve.
But that grief cannot become the prism through which we see young people or approach ministry. Instead, perhaps it can become a catalyst for renewed ministry with our younger neighbors.
One of the things that made Jesus’ ministry compelling was his bodily presence in the midst of people. Jesus went to them. Ministering with young people similarly requires being in their presence with a posture of love, service and curiosity — the same posture Jesus has taken toward us.
There are lessons waiting to be learned in the school across the street, the town library, the Friday night football game and a hundred other places. Those lessons can shape the work of your congregation right now, right where you are.
It may not be easy to step outside the familiar boundaries of church life. But when we stop asking, “How do we get young people into our church?” and begin asking, “How can we be present with the young people already in our community?” we may be surprised by what – and whom – we discover.
