Prior to deciding to leave the Presbyterian Outlook to take the call to pastor a congregation again, I sought the counsel of a few friends. One of them, an Outlook board member, sent me an email that asked four probing questions, the first one being, “The things you said you felt called to do with the Outlook in that first interview — are they largely accomplished or still left undone?”
To what was I called? Not simply to turn a black and blue newsletter into a full color magazine (although I did). Not to bring the Outlook’s digital communications into the 21st century (which my staff members, especially Jana Blazek, did). Not to bring massive subscription growth or greater financial stability (which, indeed, I didn’t). Rather, my hope was to help my denomination become more faithful and effective in giving witness to Jesus Christ by more faithfully proclaiming the word of the Lord, more impactfully reaching out in mission and more palpably demonstrating the reconciling power of our Lord, who out of many has made us one.
“Heck, no,” I blurted to the computer screen in response to the question. At least that last objective has been missed altogether: the church is more divided than when I began my editorship nine years ago.
The second objective, reaching out in mission, has arguably improved, given the uptick in overseas mission workers, volunteers in mission and new worshipping communities. The first objective is measured in the eye of the beholder — some claiming that the word of the Lord is being squelched, while others believe it is being broadcast more faithfully than before.
But still, the unity of the church has suffered separations and goodbyes — evidenced by the 148 congregations now serving under the label of ECO, the Covenant Order of Evangelical Presbyterians.
Attending ECO’s second synod meeting this past month brought a bittersweet burn to my taste buds. Happily, I can report that the spirit and tone of the gathering was palpably upbeat, enthusiastic and gracious (see pp. 10-13). And while some are smarting from a painful migration, unlike other denominations formed by disaffected refugees from the PC(USA), they gave no place to backbiting or haranguing against the denomination that ordained them. They even gave podium time to PC(USA) leaders.
But the convening of the ECO synod attested to the fact that what I had felt called to do had eluded me. My best defense didn’t convince their congregational juries to acquit the PC(USA) of the accusations of heresy and apostasy when “going through discernment.” My claim that our differences arise not from conflicting cardinal doctrines but from a variety of GodViews (that is, legitimately differing perceptions of God’s mission in the world) didn’t persuade them to embrace those differences as a God-thing. And they didn’t find convincing my suggestion that the occasional eruptions of heresy are modern glimpses of the wheat-and-weeds mix Jesus said would be with the kingdom of God until the final harvest.
Still, the collegiality shared at the conference was sweet to experience — especially when remembering that the majority of attendees have not separated from the mother ship and that even those separated are sailing ahead in the same armada of kingdom work. There is room for us all to flourish together in faithful witness to and for our Lord Jesus Christ.
But no, when asked if I’d completed all I’d set out to accomplish in the Outlook, the answer had to be a big, “no.” Then again, if I could say “yes,” I’d have been pursuing goals set way too low. Isn’t it the nature of dreams and visions that they include an element of the unrealistic, the unattainable? Isn’t that the wonder, the frustration, the thrill and the pain implicit in being a pastor?
When I leave the Outlook in a few weeks, I’ll take unrealistic and unattainable goals to Vanderbilt Church in Naples, Florida. At times my indefatigable visioning will exhaust them. At times I’ll feel frustrated that they aren’t jumping for joy over my newest idea. But together we will reach beyond our grasp, as congregations and their pastors have done for a few thousand years. So may it be with you, your congregation and your pastor.
