The pilgrimage journey is for the culturally curious. Finding the divine outside of our faith and culture means being open to new and sometimes uncomfortable experiences. During a recent pilgrimage to Japan, I dreaded our planned onsen experience. A public bath/spa experience, an onsen requires complete nudity, an idea that brought up a lot of body image issues I thought I had overcome.
Some of my body image issues come from living in a capitalist society that sells women beauty products, toiletries, clothing, etc., based on the idea that something is wrong with our bodies and buying expensive products will cure it. In the States, nudity is so closely tied to sex that breastfeeding mothers are often harassed in public spaces. On top of that, I was a teenager in the height of the 90s purity culture and received abstinence-only education at school that created a culture of secrecy and shame around sex and bodies. Worse, the church youth programs of my youth always seemed to have an element of policing bodies and sexuality. I remember a lesson on Romans 8:1-13 that could be summed up as flesh is bad and spirit is good. Desires of the flesh are defined primarily as sexual desire outside of marriage and the desires of the spirit are primarily tied to church attendance and volunteering to help with younger kids at VBS.
As I identified the roots of my anxiety around the onsen, part of me wanted to take my body image issues and drown them in the hot spring water; the other part of me was terrified.
Instead of worrying about how my body issues would surface, I decided to be curious.
At our hotel, my roommate and I watched the video about the hotel’s onsen, which helped us understand what to expect, but I wasn’t sure how I would react in the space. Instead of worrying about how my body issues would surface, I decided to be curious. I reminded myself that public nudity in the safe space of the onsen is a normal part of Japanese culture, and I was here to experience something new, something outside of what I’ve been taught to believe about bodies.
And I’m glad I chose curiosity over fear. My three evenings at the onsen felt like a religious spa experience. I was surprised at how comfortable I felt. I was naked but never embarrassed. This women-only space was peaceful, calming and empowering. I wondered how this was possible. The sound of flowing water, spa music, and cleanliness of the space definitely played a part. Seeing women of every shape and size treating this experience as normal made me feel less awkward, too.
At one point, I noticed a few children splashing around in one of the tubs; normalizing this experience starts at a young age. I was both joyful and jealous of the preteen and teen girls visiting the spa. And I wondered how different the world would be if all our bodies were treated with respect and reverence. My curiosity led me to envision a better future.
My curiosity led me to envision a better future.
After the post-soak shower, I used the fancy, futuristic hotel spa hair dryer and brush to dry my hair like I’ve watched my stylist do but have never bothered to do for myself. I used the face serum and body lotion, too, beginning to realize that all of me was deserving of care. My skin felt amazing, and my muscles relaxed even after a long day of walking. Then I treated my body to the massage chair and followed the local’s practice of enjoying an ice cream bar after my hot soak.
Taking care of my body as a pilgrimage practice was challenging and rewarding, like many mindfulness practices that involve retraining my brain to pay loving attention to parts of me I would rather ignore. In the onsen, I experienced a community where everyone bore their whole selves and found acceptance. I wonder what would happen if more of us could experience this space. Perhaps we would need a little less healing from capitalism, purity culture and harmful theology.
On a pilgrimage, expectations are held lightly, and a curious, open heart should lead the way. Because of my pilgrimage practices, I was able to emerge from the waters as a new creation, a woman of flesh and spirit, loved and cared for, and good.
