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Making space: A reflection on Lent, family and the resurrection

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This year, Ash Wednesday was spent in the hospital talking with doctors and undergoing tests. Neither my wife nor I were ill — we were trying to get pregnant.  And it just so happened that Ash Wednesday was the day when everything would begin.  Of course, the timing wasn’t ideal. I was part of a service with three other churches that evening, and I had more than enough work to fill a 12-hour-day (I always do in Lent).  It really wasn’tthe perfect time to spend most of the day with medical professionals.  But we made the time because we had to, because having a family was the most important thing to us. I thought it would get better after the first time-consuming day.  I thought that the rest of Lent would basically be a breeze (at least personal-life-wise), with perhaps only a couple of interruptions.  I was wrong.  For two women like us, the process of trying to get pregnant is very similar to that of couples who are having fertility challenges.  There are regular diagnostic … [Read more...]

Tagged With: family life • Lent

Dissent and depravity

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We asked our bloggers to share why they are Presbyterian. These are their responses.  I was predestined to be Presbyterian. I’m not a cradle PC(USA) member; I wasn’t raised in the church, period. I didn’t start attending anywhere until I was 14, and I knew nothing about denominations. But there was a congregation down the street from my house, so I could walk to service anytime I wanted, which was most Sundays. Not long after my first visit, one of the co-pastors said that confirmation class was starting soon. Did I want to become a member? I said yes. Maybe this was my rebellion against parents that were uninterested in religion. Maybe I wanted to belong somewhere. Maybe it was the Holy Spirit. (OK, it was probably the Holy Spirit). Whatever the reason, I sat with the other confirmand as we learned about being Christian adults. I remember three things about that class. First, I learned that my church was awesome. Through my mentor, I experienced God’s radical love. She … [Read more...]

Tagged With: Why Presbyterian?

Ministry upside down

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My heart is pounding its way up my throat. My hands are sweaty enough that I’m glad we still have communion to celebrate before the end of the service and the inevitable line of people waiting for a vigorous handshake. My knees are trembling so badly that I’m positive everyone can see it. When I first started preaching, this was a familiar feeling – it happened every week just before the end of our second Scripture reading. But today there is no sermon in my hands. Today the pulpit will remain empty. A couple of minutes later, I’m hanging upside down over the congregation. One foot is locked in the fabric of the aerial silks, the other is hooked at the knee to keep me from plummeting down to the aisle below. After a couple of moments, I’m spinning my way out of the pose and climbing back down to the floor as another aerialist steps into another fabric at the front of the sanctuary. By the end of this act of proclamation, six of us have taken to the silks – and just a few months … [Read more...]

Edgy improv groups

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The Monday before last as I was driving home from one of my church’s Bible studies, I heard a comedienne interviewed on NPR. Her name is Aparna Nancherla, and on her newly released album she tackles some pretty heavy stuff – like mental illness. They played an excerpt of her work, and her piece on anxiety really resonated with me. She said, “Having anxiety is like having an edgy improv group in your brain, and it just needs a one word suggestion to spin countless scenarios that no one’s comfortable with. And the whole time you’re just like, ‘when will this show be over. I just came to be supportive!’ None of these thoughts have a future.” Alone in my car I burst out laughing because it’s true! Of course, if you’ve never been to an improv show, this might not make sense. So let me give you a little context. If you watch an improv troupe, they often ask for a one word input from the audience to get a scene started. And then they take that word in some of the wildest directions … [Read more...]

A good death

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  When I was doing my summer of Clinical Pastoral Education (that’s a chaplaincy internship with a lot of group processing and reflection), we spent an entire week talking about good deaths and good goodbyes. I remember sitting around a faux-wood conference table and swiveling slightly in the black ergonomic chairs that populated the hospital like mushrooms on a damp log, as our supervisor, Marc, spoke to us about the holy process of death and dying. The concepts made sense; my Nana had died just six months earlier, and the fact that it had been peaceful – in her sleep just like she wanted – was a sacred comfort to all of us who were left behind. Since that week in 2009 I’ve found myself returning to that conference room from time to time as death and endings arise in my ministry. I have frequently heeded Marc’s wisdom when it comes to saying goodbye (tell the person you love them; tell them you forgive them; ask for their forgiveness; thank them). I’ve even spoken with … [Read more...]

As it should be

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On the day that the gunman was subdued on a high-speed train heading into Paris this past summer, it just so happened that my mom and I were also traveling by high-speed train through France. We learned of the incident long after we had arrived at our destination, but there was something deeply unsettling about hearing the news and realizing that it could have happened to us. After we emailed family to let them know that we were OK, I said to my mom, “Wow. That’s just a little bit too close for comfort.” And my mom gave me the funniest look of disbelief and said, “Really, Jennifer?” At first, I thought she was implying that I was blowing the situation out of proportion; that it wasn’t really too close for comfort. But then realization struck – no, she was surprised that I could feel so unsettled by a thwarted plot that happened hundreds of miles away when I live in a city where people are regularly murdered within a couple of miles of my house. The sad truth is, I’ve grown … [Read more...]

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