A Czech Visitor Looks at the PC(USA)

Editors' note: Andrew Stehlik of the Czech Republic recently served a year as a mission-partner-in-residence with the PC(USA) Worldwide Ministries Division in Louisville. He wrote about his impressions of the PC(USA) in the Czech Working Group newsletter for July 2000. The working group, created by the General Assembly Council in 1995, works closely with the Evangelical Church of Czech Brethren to improve and expand the relationships between the two churches.

The Call to Nineveh

In many ways the response to the General Assembly's call for Unity in the Midst of Diversity conferences is like Jonah's response to God's call to go to Nineveh. He did not want to go, neither do many of us. From what little evidence is available, it seems safe to say only a small portion of our presbyteries are planning Unity in the Midst of Diversity conferences.

The Pathway to Partnership

I resonate with William Saum's reminiscence of General Assemblies focused on "great issues confronting the church and the world." I lament with Saum that little at this year's Assembly reflected the enthusiasm of last year's cutting-edge report from the Church Growth Task Force, "Hey, I am doing a new thing . . . . Do you get it?"

Presbyterians Do Mission in PartnershipPolicy Statement

The PC(USA) seeks to engage the church in faithful and vital global mission.

As Christians, we understand "Mission" to be God's work-centered in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and made real through the active and leading power of the Holy Spirit -- for the world God loves.

Wile E. Coyote or the Roadrunner

That's the question I have been asking all my pals since I read the wonderful article in Sunday's paper by Henry Allen. He is a professor at the University of Maryland. In his honors seminar on meaning and culture he asks students with whom they identify in those classic cartoons: Wile E. Coyote or the Roadrunner?

In the Big Inning

Baseball is, of course, a biblical game because we are taught "the homer shall be the standard measure" (Ezekiel 45:11, RSV).  Jesus was looking for the diamond when he asked, "Where are the nine?"  (Luke 17:17)  Baseball is congenial to Christians because it is played in green pastures and often beside still waters (in Pittsburgh, however, we can cross three rivers to get to the park).

Throwing in the Towel

Our son Gary was born in a hospital connected with the prison where his mother was serving time for grand theft.  With a birth weight slightly more than three pounds, Gary could whimper softly but was too weak to cry for his first year on Earth.  We were told Gary would never walk because to his mental retardation was added cerebral palsy affecting all four limbs.

A Chest Hair Named Fred

When he was a teen-ager, my son, who was not wearing a shirt, approached his mother and said,

"Look, Mom."  "I'm looking."  "What do you see?"  "I see your chest."  "Yes, but what do you see on my chest?"  "What am I supposed to see on your chest?"  "You're supposed to see a chest hair named Fred."

The Gun Lap

I am often, and rightly, described as an athletic supporter.  I love all sports but especially track and am proud to say that I am one of the few persons in the world to see Bobby Morrow (1956 Olympic gold medals at 100 and 200 meters and the 4-by-100 relay) run a full quarter mile.

On Barking Dogmas

Fundamentalist and Modernist; Liberal and Conservative.  Sadly, these clumsy assignations are still made by Presbyterians.  I regret to say that I am myself victimized by this distinction, and I regret even more that I perpetuate its use.  The Apostle Paul discusses the broader problem of "we" and "they" (or to be more objective -- "us" and "them") in Philippians 1:15-18, coming to the remarkable conclusion that we should rejoice because Christ is being proclaimed, whether by "them" in pretense or by "us" in truth.

Ardor vs. Order

As a lifelong student of muliebrity, I have learned that Earth has few intellectual delights to compare with the satisfaction of embarrassing the woman you love.  Although I. Kant say it out loud, an axiom of both pure and practical reason holds that a woman will never get angry at you if you are trying to express your devotion to her.

Panic in the Pulpit

Most of us learn to preach by imitation and we imitate what we admire.  When I was in seminary, the preacher I most admired wrote his sermons in a black, 6 b 9 notebook -- so I bought a 6 by 9 notebook.

Moreover, I noticed that when he was ready to turn a page, he made a dramatic gesture toward heaven and while everyone was looking up, he flipped the page.  I practiced that maneuver too.

Squirrels in My Attic

On August 11, 1991, after 37 years of devoutly offering burnt offerings to heaven, I smoked my pipe for the last time, quitting, as they say, cold duck.  I had taken up pipe smoking because I thought it denoted a kindly, reflective, manly person such as I considered myself to be.

Filthy Habits

Even though I am a world-class expert on women, I sometimes find them hard to understand.  For example, I had been dating Margaret exclusively for about a year and a half, and I thought it was probably safe to put my arm around the back of her chair at a movie.  I was what we called in those days "a fast worker."

Romancing Sophia

To a flat-lander who has lived in the Mississippi Delta and on the Great Plains, Pittsburgh is a big challenge because of all the hills.  This fact has led me to recognize that it is a serious mistake for a man to marry chiefly for beauty and brains.  Brawn ought to be a major consideration.  I now think the ideal woman is at least 6 feet tall, weighs about 290 and bench presses 400 pounds.

The Limits of Decency

It is all very well for the Bible to command us in one place to be urgent (2 Timothy 4:2) and in another to do all things decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40).  The problem is the Bible does not tell us which commandment applies to which situation.  Thus, some Christians -- like the Methodists -- are regularly more urgent than decent and some -- like the Presbyterians -- are regularly more decent than urgent.

Potty Luck Suppers

Declining membership is a major problem for the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and doubtless will remain so until our leaders figure out why persons decline to be members.  Quite naturally, various groups of Presbyterians blame these problems on those who do not share their primary interests:  The church is too liberal or too conservative; there is too much or too little social action; too many or too few prayer meetings; too much or too little liturgy, and so on and on.

The Outhouse in Summer and Winter

Two hundred years ago frontier religious revivals were made necessary by the scarcity of preachers and the great distances between people in America west of the Alleghenies.

First held in the open, these events were later held in large tents and then in roofed, but opensided, rough-hewn buildings called tabernacles.  With three preaching services every day, the common feature of tents and tabernacles was a floor covered with sawdust.

Taking a Leek

Embarrassing my wife, Margaret, is not -- I swear -- the goal of my life, but if embarrassing her were my purpose I could happily retire, having succeeded beyond my wildest expectations many times over.  For example, on our last wedding anniversary (romantic devil that I am) I thought I should take her out for an experience in elegant dining.  Her choice -- Mexican food -- was a bit of a sacrifice because while Margaret likes spicy food, it doesn't agree with me.