I absolutely loathe when I mess up. I get in my own head and can be brutal with myself about how I should have done better. Yet, mistakes happen. Despite my best efforts, I am not perfect. And making mistakes has left me with two powerful lessons.
The first: never underestimate the power of a genuine apology. I have found that when I approach the person or people who are affected by my mistake and apologize, we can usually move forward quickly. When I lost my patience with a member who was raising their voice and I raised mine too, I cooled off and I made a hard phone call. “Sam, I owe you an apology. We were clearly passionate about our conversation, but I should not have raised my voice. I will strive to do better.” We ended up having a great conversation after this and found a way forward. It wasn’t easy, I wanted to be justified in my actions and anger, but I am called to live my faith which includes reconciliation.
The second lesson is one I have to re-learn on a regular basis: I am human and, therefore, I make mistakes. I mess up. I lose my temper. I drop the ball. I have scheduling issues. I say the wrong thing. I forget to make an important pastoral care call. I miss the nuance in PC(USA) polity. My congregation lovingly teases me about how I am always saying, “grace abounds!” I say this because I believe it to be true, there must be grace in how we interact. When my volunteers have a misstep, this is usually my first response. But I have a hard time believing I get that grace too. If ministry and mistakes have taught me anything at all it is that I am painfully human and terribly in need of grace.
My mistakes have taught me so much about myself. They have also challenged me to be the best pastor I can be in the hardest circumstances. It is my sincere hope that we can all learn from our mistakes and find grace in the places where we fall short.
