In preparation for a women’s retreat, I am reading Brother Lawrence’s “The Practice of the Presence of God.” Brother Lawrence was a 17th-century Carmelite lay brother who had a deep and abiding communion with God, even as he partook in daily chores like working in the kitchen. As one of his more famous quotes declares:
“For me the time of action does not differ from the time of prayer, and in the noise and clatter of my kitchen, while several persons are together calling for as many different things, I possess God in as great tranquility as when upon my knees.”
Reading Br. Lawrence has reawakened my hunger for God. Admittedly, this hunger – and indeed connection with God – often get lost in the demands of parenting a toddler and pastoring a congregation. I struggle to carve out space for God — whether you call that space “daily quiet time” or “meditation” or something else. The notion that I can experience God in the midst of life’s details encourages me because I’m not sure I would experience God otherwise.
But, the more of Br. Lawrence I read, the more I’m challenged. For, to experience God “in great tranquility” took this lay brother years to cultivate. And it took persistently turning his thoughts and love to God, no matter what he was doing. The practice of the presence of God is a practice that eventually forms a habit. I’m frequently distracted; I can’t imagine constantly turning my attention to God, especially when my toddler is being particularly demanding or non-compliant. The necessity to practice feels daunting in this season of my life.
But parenting a toddler well is also a practice — I daresay a practice that takes faith (trusting my son is going to turn out OK). I don’t always parent well, but I seek to improve. And the reason I seek to improve is because I love my son. Everything I do as a parent is done in love — even when I don’t feel particularly loving (because, let’s face it, toddlers can be difficult human beings).
Br. Lawrence asserts that “in the way of God thoughts count for little, love is everything.” To practice God’s presence is to do everything, even little things, for the love of God. Just as I help my toddler go to the potty out of love of him, so I can brush my teeth and wash the dishes and write blog posts and pray for others and grocery shop and do all the other tasks of my life out of love for God.
Doing everything out of love for God still feels slippery to me, especially if I think about it too long. But, my intuition senses that Br. Lawrence is on to something profound and powerful. So, I am changing my practice and seeking to love God in all I do, including helping my toddler go to the potty.
RACHEL YOUNG is the associate pastor of spiritual formation at Clear Lake Presbyterian Church, in Houston, Texas. She is married to Josh, who also serves on staff at Clear Lake Presbyterian as the director of contemporary worship and media.
