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The last laugh

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My friend Jane is about to die. Her husband David texted me last night to tell me that the doctors say it will likely be hours. Hard to believe it was only a few days ago that she was giving me reading assignments. “Go into the house and look on the little table next to my bed,” Jane said, lying now in her other bed – her hospice bed – with eyes closed. “There are two books there. I didn’t get to them in time.” She smiled. “They are both about laughter. Let me know what you think.” I got the books, but Jane is now mainly sleeping. It is too late to discuss them. Instead, I thumb through the pages, waiting for news. I remember our last real conversation, as Jane lay there with eyes closed and a smile on her face, describing a place crowded with everyone who in this world was excluded: a place where all feast, embrace and worship. Every now and then her eyes open and she cracks a joke. “Some of the folks back home won’t be particularly happy about who all is around that … [Read more...]

Tagged With: Easter

Meandering hope

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I was on my way to class, driving down Burnet Road toward Austin Seminary in Texas. Burnet (pronounced “burn-it”) is classic Austin. It epitomizes what “Keep Austin Weird” actually looks like, with its mom and pop stores, salsa-and-chips-on-the-table-24/7 restaurants and easygoing people who nod and smile as they pass each other on the sidewalk. People wear anything they feel like wearing on their way to doing things important or unimportant. What does matter is that they are all together here in Austin, which is good enough reason to be nice to each other. I grew up in New York, where people are nice to each other in a gruffer kind of way. I love NY, and I also love Austin – I’m especially drawn to its “I’ll do it my way and you do it yours” mentality. I don’t like, however, when this sentiment positions itself in front of me in rush-hour traffic. So, I was driving down Burnet, and this guy on a modest-looking motorcycle was right in front of me, taking full advantage of the … [Read more...]

Tagged With: Advent

Up in the balcony

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I was visiting with the pastor of a church where I was the guest preacher. He lamented that the youth there didn’t seem connected in worship. “I don’t think they care about ‘community’ the way we used to,” he said. But something about this common lament didn’t strike me as quite right. “There were a ton of youth up in the balcony in the 11:00 service,” I ventured. “Yes, but – didn’t you notice? They pulled out their cell phones and started texting right before the Scripture reading,” the pastor said. “They do the same thing every week. And they hold their phones right in front of them, as if they want me to know they are not paying attention.” “Right before the Scripture reading?” I asked. “Any chance they have the text on their phones, and are following along?” The pastor was silent for a moment, head bent, looking down into his folded hands, considering. “You mean,” he said, lifting his chin and looking me straight in the eye, “You can put a Bible on a phone?” An … [Read more...]

Tagged With: technology

Sacred (study) space  

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I am stuck in an airport with a very long layover.  My gate is empty of other passengers and will be for hours. A single employee sits, texting, behind the desk. What a great opportunity to get some writing done, I think to myself. The only obstacle to my plan is a blaring television, mounted in a corner and well out of reach. “Can we turn that off?” I ask the employee. “Or down?” “We sure can’t,” she says, smiling broadly.  “That TV goes off and on with the lights. It has one channel, and it only goes to ‘loud.’” (I later discover that advertisers supply the TVs with the provision that they always be tuned into programming that includes their ads.) We live in a culture where something is always playing in the background.  If it is not bombarding us with consumeristic messages, it is buzzing in our pocket, “missing” us on Facebook, or messaging us via Twitter.  Don’t get me wrong – I love and use social media. The problem comes when I need to escape it to think, contemplate … [Read more...]

Tagged With: theological education

Where the Spirit of the Lord is

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I KNEW MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD DIE while we were in the Philippines, so we went to visit her before we left. “This is Bill,” I told her, introducing the man who is now my spouse of 25 years. “We are on our way to the Philippines to do mission work.” My grandmother wasn’t saying very much by then. She was hooked up to a bunch of tubes that were pumping stuff in and out of her body. The out-of-sync beeping was kind of crazy making, and I struggled not to lose focus. “Bill and I are going to be missionaries,” I repeated, searching her face for some indication that she had heard me. She must have known I needed her affirmation, for suddenly she opened her eyes wide and raised her eyebrows for emphasis exactly as she used to do. And then she said, absolutely definitively, “I knew it!” “I knew it,” she said. Other than the incoherent muttering about the quality of the food they were trying to feed her and the “love you” she forced out when I finally managed to leave, these are the … [Read more...]

Tagged With: Pentecost

Prodigal cross

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The idea that the Son had to die so the Father would be able to forgive us has never made much sense to me. If God loves us no matter what, why can’t God just go ahead and forgive us? I remember asking this question even as a child, pointing out to my parents that they seemed to forgive my brother and me for things all the time, and rarely felt the need to punish. If they did give us some kind of penalty, it was not because they needed it in order to be able to forgive us. It was so we would learn, better, how properly to behave. So why couldn’t God just forgive, if my parents could? How could Jesus’ dying really help anything, anyway? And how could something as terrible as the cross be something God wanted or needed? My mom and dad and Sunday school teachers in our little Presbyterian church up in Babylon, N.o., tried very hard to answer my questions. But the answers they delivered were spoken so concisely, and with so much certainty, I figured you had to be a grown-up to … [Read more...]

Tagged With: Holy Week • Lent

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