The elderly woman waited her turn to speak with me after my talk. “It doesn’t really matter how you walk,” she said with conviction. “People walk all different ways.” And then she leaned in, finishing with extra emphasis. “Just don’t fall,” she advised. I had lectured in my hiking boots, not my low heels or flats. I apologized to the participants both for the boots and my limp, explaining that I had been having trouble “getting my walk back” due to a herniated disc. My anxiety about not being able to move as fluidly as usual was no doubt apparent. And this woman was determined to alleviate it. With just a few words, she reset both my perspective and my priorities. I had never really noticed that people do have all kinds of walks. And not falling is certainly a more critical goal than getting back into my speaking shoes! In “A Leg to Stand On,” neurologist Oliver Sacks tells of getting his walk back following a climbing accident. While the surgical repair of his injury was … [Read more...]
Not counting
I just finished teaching a week-long class full of the most amazing people. Twenty-four students, all participants in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)’s Southeast Asia Leadership Training Program, originated from 11 different countries: Burma, Taiwan, China, Philippines, Thailand, Laos, Singapore, Vietnam, Indonesia, Cambodia and Japan. Every time I entered the classroom they were there and ready: all in their places with bright shining faces. I, for my part, tended to rush in a couple minutes late, a story on my lips about traffic, a parenting responsibility or a jammed printer that had stalled my photocopying. They would nod empathetically and hand me a fresh cup of coffee, smiling with anticipation, believing ahead of me (and nudging me along into that belief), that something wonderful was about to happen. And so I would offer the opening prayer, noticing that my praises and intercessions came from a more centered place than usual. The students’ very presence and confident faith … [Read more...]
The last laugh
My friend Jane is about to die. Her husband David texted me last night to tell me that the doctors say it will likely be hours. Hard to believe it was only a few days ago that she was giving me reading assignments. “Go into the house and look on the little table next to my bed,” Jane said, lying now in her other bed – her hospice bed – with eyes closed. “There are two books there. I didn’t get to them in time.” She smiled. “They are both about laughter. Let me know what you think.” I got the books, but Jane is now mainly sleeping. It is too late to discuss them. Instead, I thumb through the pages, waiting for news. I remember our last real conversation, as Jane lay there with eyes closed and a smile on her face, describing a place crowded with everyone who in this world was excluded: a place where all feast, embrace and worship. Every now and then her eyes open and she cracks a joke. “Some of the folks back home won’t be particularly happy about who all is around that … [Read more...]
Meandering hope
I was on my way to class, driving down Burnet Road toward Austin Seminary in Texas. Burnet (pronounced “burn-it”) is classic Austin. It epitomizes what “Keep Austin Weird” actually looks like, with its mom and pop stores, salsa-and-chips-on-the-table-24/7 restaurants and easygoing people who nod and smile as they pass each other on the sidewalk. People wear anything they feel like wearing on their way to doing things important or unimportant. What does matter is that they are all together here in Austin, which is good enough reason to be nice to each other. I grew up in New York, where people are nice to each other in a gruffer kind of way. I love NY, and I also love Austin – I’m especially drawn to its “I’ll do it my way and you do it yours” mentality. I don’t like, however, when this sentiment positions itself in front of me in rush-hour traffic. So, I was driving down Burnet, and this guy on a modest-looking motorcycle was right in front of me, taking full advantage of the … [Read more...]
Up in the balcony
I was visiting with the pastor of a church where I was the guest preacher. He lamented that the youth there didn’t seem connected in worship. “I don’t think they care about ‘community’ the way we used to,” he said. But something about this common lament didn’t strike me as quite right. “There were a ton of youth up in the balcony in the 11:00 service,” I ventured. “Yes, but – didn’t you notice? They pulled out their cell phones and started texting right before the Scripture reading,” the pastor said. “They do the same thing every week. And they hold their phones right in front of them, as if they want me to know they are not paying attention.” “Right before the Scripture reading?” I asked. “Any chance they have the text on their phones, and are following along?” The pastor was silent for a moment, head bent, looking down into his folded hands, considering. “You mean,” he said, lifting his chin and looking me straight in the eye, “You can put a Bible on a phone?” An … [Read more...]
Sacred (study) space
I am stuck in an airport with a very long layover. My gate is empty of other passengers and will be for hours. A single employee sits, texting, behind the desk. What a great opportunity to get some writing done, I think to myself. The only obstacle to my plan is a blaring television, mounted in a corner and well out of reach. “Can we turn that off?” I ask the employee. “Or down?” “We sure can’t,” she says, smiling broadly. “That TV goes off and on with the lights. It has one channel, and it only goes to ‘loud.’” (I later discover that advertisers supply the TVs with the provision that they always be tuned into programming that includes their ads.) We live in a culture where something is always playing in the background. If it is not bombarding us with consumeristic messages, it is buzzing in our pocket, “missing” us on Facebook, or messaging us via Twitter. Don’t get me wrong – I love and use social media. The problem comes when I need to escape it to think, contemplate … [Read more...]
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