Caring for the caregivers
As a young pastor, I quickly learned to be mindful of the caregiver when ministering to someone with a chronic illness. Those who are ill carry heavy burdens; they also hold the attention of most people they encounter. It is the caregivers, often family members, upon whom the illness takes an unseen toll. Driven by feelings of love, duty and obligation, a caregiver’s efforts are dedicated to the running of the household, getting to and from medical appointments, managing prescriptions, and providing emotional support and comfort. As a pastor, if I am not mindful of the caregiver, I am not doing my job.
The caregivers of the church
In my current role as the director of the Town Square Collaborative, where I support rural and small-town congregations, I consistently remind myself to be mindful of the caregiver. The adage is that 10% of a congregation does 80% of the work and by and large I have found this to be true. This means a congregation with a worship attendance of 30 is largely supported by two to three passionate members: the caregivers.
A congregation with a worship attendance of 30 is largely supported by two to three passionate members: the caregivers.
As congregations decline and age, they can become the spiritual and emotional equivalent of an infirmed loved one for those who seek to keep them relevant and vibrant. Attention must not only be paid to the care of the “patient” but also to the management of the “household.” In my work with congregations, I consistently hear that pastors and ruling elders are exhausted.
Caregiver fatigue is often compounded by loneliness. Caring for a sick family member requires a level of emotional discipline. Because care, by necessity, needs to be focused on the sick, the caregiver can struggle to express their feelings for fear of heaping more trouble on their loved one.
Further, I’ve noticed caregivers rarely tell extended family members or friends of their feelings of loneliness and isolation. That leaves me, as a pastor, to attend to their needs, creating space for them to share their challenges without feeling selfish.
Living as a community
If you are not actively involved in keeping your congregation vibrant, who needs your support? And if you are one of the steadfast few who make sure the pulpit is filled, the bills are paid, communion is served and the session has a quorum, know that you are not alone.
It is the responsibility of every congregation to care for its caregivers, and the responsibility of those caregivers to be as honest as possible with the people around them.
We often speak of the church being a community, a place where people can come together in authentic relationships. It is the responsibility of every congregation to care for its caregivers, and the responsibility of those caregivers to be as honest as possible with the people around them. It is not the vocation of any person to “save” their church. The work of congregational caregivers should be an offering to God, gratefully received and supported by their siblings in Christ.
This is a challenging moment for small churches and the people who call them home. Worries, anxieties and uncertainties abound. Nonetheless, these congregations continue to try to do the work of Jesus Christ in their communities, empowered and supported by a small group of people who bear the brunt of that work.
Please, identify those people in your congregation and care for them! And if you are feeling exhausted or burnt out, ask for help and share your feelings. I believe every congregation, no matter its size, is a gift from God to those inside and outside its walls. Its ministry matters and its vocation is eternal. For any congregation to embody its vocation, its entire body should work together. Support and love one another, both patient and caregiver, and be the body of Christ.
