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Parents: Be not anxious

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Generations disagree about almost everything — from music to hair to food to the ideal places to live. I wonder if any disagreement can match the perplexity, disdain and harsh words erupting over how to parent. Each generation looks at other generations and at their neighbors and marvels at the wrongheaded ways parents raise children. Parents are either too permissive or too controlling, too lax in table manners or too persnickety, too casual about sex or too puritanical, too uninterested in their kids’ school performance or too obsessed with it, too hands-off in religion or too compelling. I remember encountering the phenomenon called “helicopter parenting” where parents are over-involved in their children’s lives — to the point of suing teachers to get better grades for their children and sitting in on college admissions interviews. One high school teacher says the hardest job he faces is dealing with parents. I saw the outcome: entitled children with minimal … [Read more...]

Tagged With: family life • parenting

Two questions for church planning

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Of the several factors that go into church program planning, four need to be abandoned right away. We’ve always done this. We can’t stand the whining and conflict that will ensue if we drop a program.  It doesn’t cost much money, so why not continue it?  New ideas are too expensive. Think about it. In 1850, the United States had always had slavery — did that make it worth continuing? Women had no rights — worth perpetuating? Churches forced the poor to sit in special galleries or to have their own churches — accomplishing anything? Progress didn’t come from perpetuating the known, but from asking two questions: Is it working? Is it worthy? Those are the two questions that ought to guide church planning today. Our record on asking the is-it-working question is spotty. In many cases, we just don’t know if something is working. We don’t have the metrics to measure success or failure, or to get inside outcomes and understand their meaning. And we often lack … [Read more...]

Easter is the real deal

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Christianity lost the battle for Christmas a long time ago. There was too much money to be made and too much fantasy and nostalgia to be found in a holiday about children, gifts, elves, Santa Claus, reindeer, snowmen and snow. Maybe just as well. Christmas was never a serious Christian holiday anyway. It was invented to compete with pagan sun rituals. It was populated by evangelists writing many years after the incarnation who wrote four different narratives to explain the meaning (not the historicity) of events known in legend, not in observable fact. Easter, on the other hand, is the real deal. It was an actual event, seen by many, rooted in history. From the empty tomb flowed the faith that changed the world. To be sure, modern Christianity must engage in minor skirmishes with bunnies, flowers and candy. But mostly, this holy day is our story to tell. We should be careful and creative in how we tell it. Easter is poorly served if we make too much of the pageantry. The … [Read more...]

Tagged With: Easter

Good Christian leaders

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If you have been part of an organization, work group, movement or sports team, you know that leadership matters — often more than any other component. A poorly-led organization rarely gets its work done, much less lives into its potential. A well-led organization succeeds as a group effort and makes each individual stronger. You also know that leadership can be a mystery. People aspire to leadership who have no business running anything. Some, on the other hand, rise to the occasion despite unlikely credentials or experience. I think we recognize good leadership when we see it. What we don’t comprehend is how some organizations have a knack for selecting the wrong people as leaders. “What were they thinking?” is a common question. Churches are just as susceptible to poor leadership as any other organization. In fact, I would argue that the relentless decline in American Christianity over the past 50 years is primarily a consequence of poor leadership. The world changed and church … [Read more...]

Tagged With: leadership

God’s best for us

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I have found the Christmas Eve sermon the hardest one to prepare. The biblical story has little to do with where listeners and our larger culture are in late December. I remember one year when I worked extra hard to prepare a message that took the Luke account seriously and took my people seriously. I knew they were struggling. Whatever its status as an actual historical event, the infancy narrative in Luke touches on critical themes: a messianic moment, affecting all of humanity, happening among the lowly, shepherds as witnesses, at the center a young couple of nobodies whose gift wasn’t wealth or status, but a willingness to say “yes.” It was a redoing of Creation itself. That’s how much God loves us: willing to try again after ages upon ages of human sinfulness. I stepped into the pulpit to share this message of hope and immediately saw reality. Extended families were pausing at church between this party and that party. Parents were focused on shushing children. Most people … [Read more...]

Tagged With: Christmas

Turnaround strategies for Christ’s church

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As I consult with Presbyterian congregations, the same scenario keeps recurring: In 1966 the church was full; today, after five decades of relentless decline, the pews feel empty. This scenario is painful for church leaders. They feel guilt, shame, frustration and fear. They wonder who is to blame. Is there any future for their beloved church? The good news is this: There are “turnaround strategies” that a church can pursue. The hard news is this: Those strategies will change everything — not because what we’re doing is all wrong, but because the world has changed and God needs different ministries from us. In other words, working with God to find a new future for the Presbyterian Church won’t be easy or comfortable, nor, in the absence of bold and self-sacrificial leadership, will a better future even be possible. Here, briefly, are nine turnaround strategies that I have identified. Overcome invisibility: We know what street corner our church occupies, but we have … [Read more...]

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