A woman in Mississippi told her pastor, “You do such a beautiful job at funerals. You sound so caring.” And the pastor answered, “When I was called by God to be a pastor, I promised I’d never murder anyone — but I find I read some obituaries with great joy.” … [Read more...]

An older woman who had been extremely active in the church told the pastor that when she died she wanted all female pallbearers. He said, “You mean honorary I suppose.” She answered: “No, I mean pallbearers. None of the men took me out when I was alive and I sure don’t want them taking me out when I’m dead.” Her wish was granted. … [Read more...]

A Presbyterian saw that her friend had applied to be the church secretary. Worriedly, she called her and asked, “Couldn’t you have found a nicer job?” … [Read more...]

A 5-year-old in Oklahoma got impatient with his Sunday school teacher when she was typing. The lad said: “Let me type it. I type on Daddy’s typewriter all the time.” The teacher reluctantly sat him at the table and he typed away. The teacher said: “Good for you. Read that back to me please.” And he quickly answered, “I can’t, because I can’t read yet.” … [Read more...]

Several years ago, a church had all the money stolen from their offering plate one Sunday. Later that week a package arrived in the mail and the pastor realized upon opening it there was more money in it than originally stolen. The next Sunday she thanked the anonymous thief and added: “Whoever you are, I want to thank you. Would you mind doing it again?” … [Read more...]

A church announcement in Georgia: “The new mother’s class will organize next month. If you wish to be a new mother, please see the preacher.” … [Read more...]