A new Connectionalism
I'll save you the trouble -- we ought to split the church.
There, I've said it so you don't have to even though you wanted to say it, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. Never mind, no need to thank me.
Before you naysayers get all worked up, just sit back and think what this means for the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). Finally, you and your side can go and do what you know the church ought to have done all along. That is, if only those pesky ________ (fill in the name of your least favorite advocacy group) were not around any more. Now, with them gone, you and yours will have free rein!
Of course, there are a few loose ends. We'll have to settle who'll get what: Foundation funds, seminaries, pension assets, and so forth, but that shouldn't be too big a deal. Surely, we can come up with some kind of equitable formula, based on the number of people who go with what part of the split. Giving up some assets in order to get what we think God wants is a small price to pay, after all!